Continued.

16. Jeanne D'arc. PSP 2007

Within the space of a month we got Disgaea, Final Fantasy Tactics and Jeanne D'arc. Three brilliant strategy role playing games.
In the 16-bit era there were about three SRPGs period, across all consoles. In 2007 we got three on one console over the course of a month. I thought of it as a mighty blast from a horn indicating it was the beginning of great things to come but instead it was a bellow of Gabriel's trumpet signalling the end of all things PSP.
With magnificent anime cutscenes, a brilliant twist on an age old story, colourful rich graphics and a simple yet deep combat system, Jeanne D'arc stands me as the best original (that is, non port) game on the system and with the Metal Gears, Syphon Filters and afore mentioned SRPGS, that is saying a lot.
The closest any game has come to a revisioning of Shining Force, Jeanne D'arc has a story and world that sucks you in and won't let go until long after the ending credits roll.

Awesome Character Profile:

Rufus/ Jeanne

While the game is based on the 'true' life of Joan of Arc, it is set in an alternate world where demons, monsters and animaloids exist.
Jeanne and her posse eventually come across a dogman who talks like scooby-doo, I always put him on the sidelines as, quite frankly, I was embarrassed for the designers that they decided to put him in the game but still I admire their gumption.

Jeanne is given, by God, the power to transform into a type of Super Saiyan, similar to Sonic 2. Using this power she drives the evil King of England to his knees.
I wish more stories would be rewritten like this. Imagine how much more interesting it would have been if Napoleon could charge up and fly around Europe shooting beams out of his eyes. Or if Reagan could unleash a power blast that left a five mile crater in its wake... I'd know a lot more about history if that were the case.
Stupid laws of reality.

15. Tales Of Eternia. PSP. 2006.. or 2002.

This game is a port of a PS1 game but it's still one of the best games on the PSP. Really this game represents my love of the entire Tales series but this one gets the trophy.

Why?

Is it because of the epic story and lovable characters?

No.

Is it because of the fantastic battle system and hours of side quests?

No.

Is it because you can dress the female characters up in skimpy bunny suits?

.....well maybe that helped a bit but...

It's because of a fucking annoyingly fucking addictive fucking card fucking game that is fucking part of the fucking game farkin'.

That card game was heroin laced with caffeine... I put an extra twenty hours in the game just playing it. I remember I had to turn off the sound though because every time the computer won it would say 'Hwel! Meredy wins' which sounds less annoying than it actually is.

I remember this game was listed to come out on a particular day and I somehow got a bunch of guys to come along to Dick Smith Powerhouse, we all waddled up and there it was in all it's glory. However on going online that night I discovered that it hadn't been released anywhere else in Australia and some RPG geeks (read: Daniel, all of them, the name is a synonym for RPG geek... just like Geoff is one for poofter and Mrs Jackson is for the title 'abode of much cock'... that is an in joke btw, just insert the name of one of your friend's mums instead for similar effect) so I felt extra special to have the only copy, apart from all the people who had bought it on the PlayStation years ago.

On that note the PSP has a couple of PSX RPG ports (whoa easy with the abbreviations) and for some reason they look better on the PSP then they do on the actual PSX. I guess it's because everything is smaller but still. PSX games seem to have a graininess about them which looks fucked up.

Choice.

Awesome Character Profile:

MAX!

There was a character in the game that was always referred to as 'MAX!' so you would get exclamation-heavy lines like:

'We should ask MAX! what he wants to do for dinner.'

Cracked me up...

I need to get laid.

14. Independence War. PC. 1999.

Ah, This is another title from the golden year 1999. Independence war, which you are unlikely to find anywhere ever again ever, was a space simulator that used Newtonian physics, had a 39 minute intro and was expansive as my anus was after I 'fell' on the toilet plunger. Seriously the game was well good shit. An ex picked it up off my desk the one day and I felt ashamed that I had it...

You know that makes it good.

Seriously, this game had a lot of little quirks that made it feel all the more real, certain ships had shields but due to the polarity of the engines the shields wouldn't cover then, the strategy then was to always target a ships engines as it would be the only vulnerable part.

You were also able to use every console that would have been on the bridge of your ship, if you wanted to transfer power from your weapons to engines you would start off configuring everything at the weapons station and then switch to the engineering console to channel the power through your sub decks.

The developers had even gone to the trouble of mapping out the circuitry of your vessel so if your right side was hit and that happened to hit a circuit that was transferring energy to your weapons, the would go offline and you'd have to reroute the energy through an alternate pathway.

Totally Geek, Totally Awesome.

This is also one of the few games where I played the demo and just knew I had to go buy the game. The more you know.

Awesome Character Profile:

None

Unfortunately the game was character lite and no one is really fit to get a mention, that's why I put two characters in number 15. See, that was part of the plan all along.

13.Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. PS2.

It was a tough choice between 3 and 4, really I don't think I could live without either.

I first (and...really only) picked this up at Penrith EB Games before they moved next to JB Hi-fi.

The guy over the counter was a twat (who has since moved to Blacktown... and is still twatesque.). I remember I bought it in a bundle of six games including the great Beyond Good & Evil, the good Mercenaries and the bad Capcom Fighting Jam. The counter dude was impressed and said something like 'Whoa! I bet you're going to go home and just lock the door to your room for a couple of weeks.'

To which I responded 'No, actually I'm going to go home and introduce a fat cock to your wife's ass.'

I didn't really say that.

Anyway, so impressed was the dude at my extreme awesome/lameness that he chucked in a free guide to Beyond Good & Evil that currently lies in my bedroom fully shrink wrapped.

I spoke for a while, shooting the shit with the dude and then headed home. I slammed on Capcom Fighting Jam and discovered it was shit. Metal Gear Solid however was THE shit. it was the only game I've played that truly gave the impression that you could do whatever you wanted... you couldn't but it was pretty damn close.

Shoot the enemy, sneak past the enemy, throw a beehive at the enemy to scare the bejesus out of them. The game had a great story and played like I do with your sister... really well and with a vague aroma of sealife.

*ahem*

Set years before the Metal Gear Solid games following the missions of Solid Snake's father before his rise to power and fall from grace, MGS3 takes the player through Soviet Jungles to see firsthand the fateful events that created the world of the first two games.

Not to spoil anything but the last two hours of the game may be the most action packed and exciting moments in the history of gaming.

Metal Gear Solid is also known for trying to be really realistic, featuring a lot of 'Zelda pig in water' devices... as in brilliant spectacles that you probably will never notice when playing through the game. For instance there is a battle with a nemesis who is made of electricity, if you use one of the early guns from the game (highly unlikely) and you are hit with electricity, not only do you go into shock but the electricity sets off all the bullets in the chamber/clip, exploding your gun and making bullets fly everywhere.

That's just awesome.

The game is full with hidden Easter eggs like this that just take a fantastic experience and make it all the more enjoyable.
Really there were moments in the game where I thought that I had probably stumbled across a secret animation that was so obscure that only I would ever see it. Of course I underestimated both how many people would actually be playing the game and the power of the internet but for a brief moment I felt special all the same.

Awesome Character Expose

Everyone/The Boss

Each Metal Gear game (with the possible exception of 2) has a cast of characters that are not only memorable but usually go down as pinnacles of character design. Metal Gear Solid 3 is one of the most solid (pun not intended) entries in regards to this... and everything else for that matter.

One of the most brilliant designs in the medium, The Boss was not as flashy as some of the other Metal Gear characters but she was certainly the most interesting. The mentor of Naked Snake (father of Solid Snake), The Boss is introduced as she defects from the USA to the Soviets. While she betrays her country there is always the sense that she is serving a higher purpose.
While at the time her actions seemed of fairly little consequence, it soon becomes obvious that different interpretations of the ideals of this one woman shaped fifty years of warfare to come.
An adversary and a friend, The Boss is as powerful a character and the one true Patriot.